The Flat-out Ignorance that Illegal Narcotics Instigate

There is a certain type of individual who feels the need to abuse illegal substances. They’re reasons for this are almost always flimsy and complete rubbish. A lot will tell you ‘marijuana causes less deaths every year than cigarettes and alcohol’, and while this may be true (I have no idea whether it is or not), it does not change the simple fact that cigarettes and alcohol are legal to people above a certain age, drugs are not. 

      If your life is at the point where you need illegal drugs to get highs, then you have hit an all time low. Seek help beyond your local drug dealer. Start a new hobby, read a book, make a drastic lifestyle change if you have to, but do not try to spice up your life with anything that is illegal. It will be detrimental to your mental and physical health, and while I have never and will never abuse any illegal substance of any kind, it drives me mad to hear people try and justify drug use. I’m not sure what the current jail time is for drug abuse depending on where you live, but if I was in charge, it would be 10 years minimum on all illegal substances. For drug dealers, I would consider life in prison, or if the situation was repeatedly severe, the death penalty may be re-instated. Extreme? You betcha. Do hard crime? Do hard time. Drugs are illegal, they are illegal for a reason. You are not better than the system, so stop trying to be different, get a job, pay taxes, and fit into society. Until next time.

An Everyday Danger – Cyclists on the Road

Being a regular road user in the UK, I often find myself confronted with the overwhelming challenge of overtaking a cyclist. Not only are these people menaces to other road users, they are most incompatible with all other modes of transport. Allow me to explain.

Cyclists, by nature, are relatively slow moving in comparison to any given petrol powered vehicle (eg. a car). This obviously makes it difficult to pass by, meaning an overtake is necessary. The overtaking of any given vehicle increases the chances of a head on collision drastically, thus making an overtake a rather risky maneuver. This would be acceptable, were it not for the fact that cyclists on roads are a completely unnecessary hazard. As usual, I have an alternative suggestion. If you wish to cycle, go to a cycle track and drive there. Or if there is a designated cycle lane, use that. And do not stray from it. Also, as usual, I have a fairly extreme set of guidelines to enforce these new laws. Drivers would hereby be allowed to actively knock cyclists off they’re bikes, and would receive a government commendation for doing so.

Obviously I realize that this is ridiculously over the top and extremist, however I would like the manners of the said perpetrators to improve. A family member of mine was recently ‘flipped off’ by a road using (or abusing) cyclist after following behind a parallel line of them. They refused to move, or make any effort whatsoever to make it easier for them to move past, and when they finally did make a rather daring overtake, they received a very hostile reception. For this incident alone, I believe that the individual involved (and his accomplices) should receive a minimum of 6 months in prison with no chance of parole. Extreme? Damn right. We need to take a hard line against a hard crime. Until next time.

When Insecurity Strikes – Nightclubs and their Populace

Arguably one of the most popular nocturnal passtimes is the frequenting of nightclubs. I for one, simply cannot comprehend this, and am of the opinion that the human psyche is twisted. Most people would frown and wonder how on earth the human psyche could be twisted for having fun, but fear not, make yourself a cup of tea, find a nice comfy seat, and I will explain.

Where I live, most people who enjoy a night out are those known as ‘spice boys’. This is an individual who wears items of clothing such as pink polo shirts (with the obligatory collar turned up) gelled hair (with the obligatory bleached blonde highlights) and fake tan. This individual also has a tendency to abuse anabolic steroids. Whilst normal people may also enjoy a night out, it confuses me as to why. I have gone so far as to interview my friends and ask them what it is that they enjoy about nightclubs. The response I received was most unsatisfactory. They basically ummed and aahed a lot, and eventually I managed to salvage that they enjoyed nightclubs because of they energy surrounding them, especially on the dance floor. My perspective is very different. I see nightclubs as a venue where I will go to get drunk (more expensively than I would at home), dance (which I am not a fan of), with lots of other sweaty, drunken strangers. Now, I have a firm believe that strangers in the UK are hostile enough when sober, when they are drunk they have the potential to be positively lethal. I believe that people are naturally hostile and violent by nature, making a dark room with thumping music full of drunken strangers potentially a very dangerous place.

I have no desire to get drunk, go to a place where it is too dark to see, get other peoples sweat on me, get in a fight, not be able to hear myself think due to the volume of music, and dance. This, to me, makes a night out a fully undesirable experience. The people make it even worse. Through sheer social incompetence, and recognition of this, people feel the need to be violent, as they cannot locate a sexual partner for the night. This results in multiple douchebags fighting in the street to regain what little is left of their self respect. This worries me immensely, and for one think that nightclubs should be outlawed. Until next time.

The Internet – Possibly the most Detrimental Thing to Happen to Mankind

The internet can be a wonderful place. It can be used as an educational tool, helps international communication and enhances the availability of information. Many people use it on a daily basis to help them complete homework, write blogs (obviously), aid them with work, and if they are an unsavoury character, plagiarize. The internet can also be used for much more unacceptable behaviour as well. As I write this I’m sure some readers will assume that I am talking about criminal activity or pornography. Let me assure you I am not. The topic that I wish to address is much more severe. It is the use of the internet for making home videos to be posted to video streaming websites, available for the public to see. By home videos I do not simply mean videos that have been filmed on handheld camera at home, I mean videos that have been made for the surface purpose of comedy, however with a very clear undertone of self indulgence and arrogance. Some readers may say I am hypocritical, and that blogging is no more than a written version of the same thing, with the same indulgent vibes. This I cannot argue with, due to the fact that it is a matter of opinion. However the videos I speak of consist of topics that are evidently meant to be funny, yet fail miserably in this endeavour. One such video was shown to me the other day by a friend, and consisted exclusivity of animals wearing certain garments of clothing. My friend led me to believe that this alone was worth a chuckle. I disagree. All it was worth was a campaign against its existence, and a small amount of jail time for its creators.

This makes me wonder what on earth the world is coming to. If I was in charge (prime minister, president etc.) I would make such videos illegal, and give anyone bold (or stupid) enough to create one time to reflect on their actions in prison. In order to monitor what content may and may not be published on video streaming websites, I would set up a governing body which all videos must be run through before they are put online to avoid such monstrosities. Sentencing would vary between 2 weeks for minor offences, all the way through to 10 years for really awful content. This would encourage people to think before they uploaded such self indulgent and frankly wasteful content to the internet. Whether I will start a campaign surrounding this topic or not is yet to be seen. Until next time.

Ice Cream and Douche Cuts – A Template of Modern Society

One of the most irritating blunders of the world we live in is the abundance of choice. While choice is a staple and necessary part of any prosperous society, I for one feel that things have gone too far. Ice cream. Whatever happened to plain old ice cream. If you go into any given establishment that sells fresh ice cream you are given one of the hardest decisions known to man. Flavours such as, mint choc chip and vanilla are borderline acceptable. Flavours such as butterscotch and raspberry or clotted cream with banoffee pie are not! I actually walked in to one such establishment about 6 months ago, and asked if I could have an ice cream. The employee said ‘what flavour?’. Now I was under the impression that ice cream was available worldwide, and if ice cream is not specific enough for some readers, then Mr. Whippy would be the closest and most accurate comparison I could make. In fact, I would even have settled for a Mr. Whippy at the time, however this option did not seem to be available at the time. All I could purchase was a variety of very specific and adventurous flavours, none of which interested me. I found it increasingly difficult to narrow down what I wanted, and ended up, through sheer social pressure, resorting to buying what seemed to be some sort of healthy smoothie. While the smoothie itself was nice, it was still not what I had in mind when I entered the said establishment. Whatever happened to the simple days of chocolate, vanilla, strawberry? At a push choc chip or butterscotch might be considered to be brought back in to mainstream society.

Staying on the topic of mainstream society, the world of modern haircuts seems to have gone a similar direction to ice cream. When you walk into a salon and ask for a haircut, instead of the good old fashioned reduction of length from the hair that you currently have, you are given a complex multitude of options surrounding styling. I just want a haircut! I don’t need to look like Ryan Gosling, or Gerard Butler, Just shorten the length of what is currently on top of my head. One of the popular hairstyles around the area where I live is what I like to call a ‘douche cut’. I have no idea what the actual name for it is, however I have never seen a single person manage to pull it off, let alone look good with it. It basically consists of a short back and sides whilst leaving the length on the top, and aggressively sweeping it to one side. The salons don’t help, due to the fact that when you ask for a haircut, they ask back ‘how would you like it?’ or ‘how do you wear it?’. Its hair! I would be forever grateful if you would do me the service of cutting it! Thus every time I go to the barber its a complete gamble as to how I come out. While I do not take a huge amount of care over my appearance, that does not mean I don’t care at all. Therefore, I feel the need to bring to attention just how insane we are as a society, and how, in an ideal world, we should potentially bring back the options available to us just a tad. Until next time.