My (Unofficial) Application for Congress

Ladies and gentlemen, it is finally unofficial. After months of blogging and voicing opinions, and an overwhelming amount of support (I assume, I haven’t received that much feedback), I am running for a position in US Congress. It is important to consider that I am currently a UK citizen, in the middle of my university education, and haven’t even applied for a green card or any other type of residential application to the United States, I still think I would be a great benefit to their political system. Why don’t I campaign to become a member of the British political infrastructure? Well I haven’t looked into it but I think US Congress get better pay. 

        Of course I wouldn’t expect anyone to vote for me without knowing my policies surrounding all topics. FYI, my key point when appealing for votes is transparency. I believe this will give me an edge over all other applicants in Congress, due to the fact that if I am asked a question on any given topic, I will give an honest answer 100% of the time. Even if it is potentially detrimental to my own campaign efforts. 

      First off,  I shall address the most serious topic in my opinion. Crime. Through doubling the size of the current police force, instating a new justice department consisting of ex-special forces soldiers with a much larger and freer legal boundaries to work within. I guarantee crime will go down 100% within a month. For more information on this topic, look at my previous blogs, where I go into depth on this topic. 

      Second, the environment. New evidence has emerged suggesting that humans are not to blame for the hole in the ozone layer and other damage to the environment, I will look into this further and get solid evidence before I say for sure that it is the case. As a result, I will promote eco-friendly travel such as electric cars and such. As for landfill sites and recycling, continue to recycle, what cannot be recycled, the public have a choice what to do with. We can either burn it, and potentially destroy more of the ozone layer, or have more landfills, and just leave it there, and have mountains of crap lying around everywhere. I will leave that decision to a national poll. 

      Third, Education. I will keep the minimum age of education at 16. As I feel at that age people have a strong idea of what they want to do, and how they want to do it. They have the opportunity to stay on for further education if they wish, but it is not compulsory. I will improve the education system by eliminating private education, and raising the standards of all schools to that level. Also, school isn’t very fun, so kids should be allowed to leave if they want. 

      Fourth, Healthcare. Obamacare is, in my opinion, a great idea. I know certain groups are against the idea, however I will ensure that more jobs are created through an expansion of Obamacare nationally by opening up new departments and the like. I actually don’t see any problems with that, I’m not sure why anyone is against this if I’m honest. I also have a surefire way to tackle obesity. This is through compulsory gym visits, for 45 minutes, once a week. This will be monitored by a ‘Gym Police’. The charges for failing to comply with this are a week in a controlled cardiovascular and hypertrophic centre for the physically unfit (ie. fat camp).

    Fifth, economical. I don’t know what the tax rates are like over there, but while the rich should always be taxed more than the working class, I do not feel that it should a huge amount more, as they have worked to be where they are, and it seems unfair to me that this is then taken away from them to fund people who refuse to work. If you are incapable of physically or mentally seeking employment, then you shall be given government benefits. Each application shall be looked at individually. If you are caught claiming benefits you do not deserve, then you shall be imprisoned for life. Simple. Don’t steal money.

  I do not know how this will be received, however I hope for you unfailing support in this matter, and together, we can make a better tomorrow.

 (Disclaimer: I am not actually running for congress (yet). Please do not take any of my comments seriously, although I dont really know how you could).