Ice Cream and Douche Cuts – A Template of Modern Society

One of the most irritating blunders of the world we live in is the abundance of choice. While choice is a staple and necessary part of any prosperous society, I for one feel that things have gone too far. Ice cream. Whatever happened to plain old ice cream. If you go into any given establishment that sells fresh ice cream you are given one of the hardest decisions known to man. Flavours such as, mint choc chip and vanilla are borderline acceptable. Flavours such as butterscotch and raspberry or clotted cream with banoffee pie are not! I actually walked in to one such establishment about 6 months ago, and asked if I could have an ice cream. The employee said ‘what flavour?’. Now I was under the impression that ice cream was available worldwide, and if ice cream is not specific enough for some readers, then Mr. Whippy would be the closest and most accurate comparison I could make. In fact, I would even have settled for a Mr. Whippy at the time, however this option did not seem to be available at the time. All I could purchase was a variety of very specific and adventurous flavours, none of which interested me. I found it increasingly difficult to narrow down what I wanted, and ended up, through sheer social pressure, resorting to buying what seemed to be some sort of healthy smoothie. While the smoothie itself was nice, it was still not what I had in mind when I entered the said establishment. Whatever happened to the simple days of chocolate, vanilla, strawberry? At a push choc chip or butterscotch might be considered to be brought back in to mainstream society.

Staying on the topic of mainstream society, the world of modern haircuts seems to have gone a similar direction to ice cream. When you walk into a salon and ask for a haircut, instead of the good old fashioned reduction of length from the hair that you currently have, you are given a complex multitude of options surrounding styling. I just want a haircut! I don’t need to look like Ryan Gosling, or Gerard Butler, Just shorten the length of what is currently on top of my head. One of the popular hairstyles around the area where I live is what I like to call a ‘douche cut’. I have no idea what the actual name for it is, however I have never seen a single person manage to pull it off, let alone look good with it. It basically consists of a short back and sides whilst leaving the length on the top, and aggressively sweeping it to one side. The salons don’t help, due to the fact that when you ask for a haircut, they ask back ‘how would you like it?’ or ‘how do you wear it?’. Its hair! I would be forever grateful if you would do me the service of cutting it! Thus every time I go to the barber its a complete gamble as to how I come out. While I do not take a huge amount of care over my appearance, that does not mean I don’t care at all. Therefore, I feel the need to bring to attention just how insane we are as a society, and how, in an ideal world, we should potentially bring back the options available to us just a tad. Until next time.


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